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Tag: absurdism

Episode Thirty Nine – Schrödinger’s Halen

We all know that Joy Division were an incredibly powerful band, but did any of us realize that they might have become both New Order & Dokken at the same time?

Taking in The Shaize, Van Halen, Love Will Tear Us Apart, Bears, Human League, Buzzcocks, Atomic Kitten, Portugal, The Cure, and much more

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Episode Thirty Five – Star Wars With Jon Bon, Ally McB, & Cliffy C

“I don’t mean to imply that Star Wars was some sort of documentary about Ms. Flockhart and Jon Bon Jovi on the set of Ally McBeal”

In which Young Southpaw ponders why the Star Wars films didn’t have theme songs a la the James Bond franchise

Taking in The Indelicates, Thomas Pynchon, Inherent Vice, The Ramones, KISS, Rocky IV, Def Leppard, Metallica, David Bowie, Cheers, Cliff Claven, Hoth, Empire Strikes Back, Shirley Bassey, and much more etc.

 

“So I’m doin another podcast, one where I interview artists I really dig, it’s called Etcetera ETC with Young Southpaw. You can find it at all the places ya know. And last week’s one was pretty eye-opening man. I interviewed The Indelicates, a band I’ve loved for a long time, and Simon Indelicate pointed something out… Now it’s weird man, like I’m not exactly sure his last name is Indelicate, I wouldn’t put money on it, especially against him. But that’s the name of the band and so the last name he uses I’m pretty sure. I mean this is the way things have gone since The Ramones, since the end of last century, or I guess the last fifth of last century, that album came in 1980 I think… But ya know, hey ho, let’s go with it…

But speaking of real names, there was that character in Tommy P’s Inherent Vice novel called Vincent Indelicato. And well I can’t say that I’m not sure that that’s his real last name cause he’s someone that Thomas Pynchon created so like… I don’t know, I mean, he’s obviously a fictional character, but it’s probably the fictional character’s real last name. There was no indication in Inherent Vice that he was, that this was an alias, or that he was even in a band. I mean I doubt he was even in The Indelicates. Man, I guess I missed a trick. That I should have asked The Indelicates have they ever had any fictional characters, by Thomas Pynchon or otherwise, in their band. And then like this guy would have been a bit of a rebel too, insisting on Indelicato while the rest of them are Indeli-cate ya know…

But anyway like Simon Indelicate ya know…aka……..Simon Indelicate… pointed out that Jovi, ya know Jon Bon… his first appearance on record was actually that Star Wars Christmas album that came out in 1980 ya know. Woah same year as The Ramones’ End Of A Century! I wonder what that’s implying. I mean centuries can be used to measure the distance ya know like for a long time ago in a etc ya know. But this got me thinking – why didn’t the Star Wars movies, ya know, like the Bond films, have theme tunes with like the popstars of the day on them? Woulda been rad! And huge for the music industry! I mean they wouldn’t have to have the Ramones do one, even though that’s probably what we all want! I mean they were on that Space Ghost Coast To Coast promoting their Acid Eaters covers album but we’d want original material, ya know! Like Rocket To Russia would be more appropriate especially if like after blowing up the Death Star the Ramones themselves – I mean I guess they’d have to be in the film now – so like they help the rebels blow up the Death Star then they take said rocket and go to the Soviet Union to fight Drago. I mean yeah it’d have to be like all four of them cause they’re like skinny guys living on junk food…

But ya know, like the Bond films, I think we’d want the theme songs to be done by a different band for each film. I mean Shirley Bassey, she’s a whole different story, can’t get enough of her. Imagine her covering Depeche Mode’s Just Can’t Get Enough, for a Bond film no less! And besides ya know you can’t be poaching people who have already done Bond films. Though if that lead to a Star Wars film where James Bond himself was playing a lead role, that’d be pretty amazing!

So like who can we get?  It’s 1977, right? And yeah the John Williams theme tune is classic enough but who’s to say it wouldn’t have been an even bigger movie ya know if like KISS had been in it?! I mean that makes total sense too ya know. Ya got StarChild and Ace as the Spaceman and like Gene Simmons’ make-up coulda easily been like another Darth Vader type character! And then like Peter Criss – don’t you find it weird that with all the different planets they visited in those films you never see one cat! And like if KISS were in Star Wars, woulda saved us all from KISS Meets the Phantom Of The Park. Though I gotta say I do like the acoustic version of Beth from that film…

Then we’ll slate The Ramones in for Empire and then we got Jedi…

I mean 1983 was a killer year for music Would Return of the Jedi have been better if it had a soundtrack of Def Leppard, something from Bowie’s ‘Let’s Dance’, and Metallica? Like the Imperial March is rad and all but imagine adding Seek & Destroy to the Empire’s theme music?!

And then of course I forgot all about why this is happening in the first place, gotta get ol’ Jon Bon himself involved!

I mean Jovi was an actor for a while, he was in Ally McBeal. In one of those high Boston office buildings too. I mean closer to space than here on Earth and ya know legal battles are kinda like wars ya know. I mean lawyers always seem so busy, I don’t know if they’d have time to go see a film called Moderately High When Compared To The Ground…Wars… And it would’ve had to have come out before Legal Eagles I think. Ya know if the Star Wars franchise stood a hope of surviving. But I mean this could be the New Hope they’re talkin about!

And like Calista Flockhart, that’s a name up there with Luke Skywalker! She was as, Jovi himself pointed out in Living On A Prayer, “halfway there”. I don’t mean to imply that Star Wars was some sort of documentary about Ms. Flockhart and Jon Bon Jovi on the set of Ally McBeal…

But wait a minute! Cliff Clavin from Cheers was in Empire Strikes Back! Makes sense too with him being a mailman and he’s in that scene on the ice planet Hoth, I mean Boston gets real cold in the winter! And ya know “neither snow nor rain not heat” etc. – snow is the very first one in the mail carrier’s motto! So like maybe he’s in the mail room at the Rebel Legal Office and he delivers some important maybe even the plans to yet another Death Star if they wanna keep harpin’ on that, delivers em to ol’ C Flock herself. Woah! Should Flock of Seagulls do her theme tune?! That’d be wild! But then like, would Jovi end up composing his own theme tune? I don’t know how I feel about that…

And like legally speaking, Simon Indelicate was the one who pointed this out to me in our interview, so it seems only appropriate that The Indelicates should soundtrack one of the films themselves…

But like they didn’t form until 2005, and I don’t even think in time for Revenge Of The Sith. Unless like, I mean if they were to remake the films now and have a subplot be about a band from the south of England time-travelling in order to get on the soundtrack of the very film we’re all watching! I mean it might be a bit more believable”

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Episode Thirty Two – Strange Rains

In which Young Southpaw examines the dangers of It’s Raining Men even if it might get RATT back in the charts and posits the theory that Blind Melon’s No Rain might be a cover of GNR’s November Rain

Taking in Exodus, Metallica, Duran Duran, Tones On Tail, Flood, Erasure, Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, biblical plagues, and much more

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Episode Thirty One – A Question Of Questions

In which Young Southpaw dives right into the chaos surrounding the world of queries within song and film, showing David Bowie to be – as you’d expect – valiantly at the front of both

Taking in Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavour On The Bedpost Overnight, Sweet Child O’Mine, Axl Rose, Guns N Roses, Paradise City, Depeche Mode, The Wizard Of Oz, Star Wars, and much more

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Episode Twenty Nine – Jung Guns…& Roses, Of Course

In which Young Southpaw explores Carl Gustav Jung’s relationship with albums released in the 80s and beyond, wonders if Jung and Axl Rose ever actually did have a band together, shows the effect of Van Halen & Def Leppard on his Anima/Animus theory, explains how Depeche Mode and Guns N Roses embody the process of the great cycle of life, and so much more

Taking in The Creatures, The Police, Inherent Vice, ABBA, Thom Yorke, Radiohead, shamen, Appetite For Destruction, Freud, Frankie Goes To Hollywood, L.A. Guns, Girl, Young Guns, 101, the spirit world, the collective unconscious, Construction Time Again, 5150, etc.

“People musta been all like ‘Jung, you crazy! Postulatin’ a collective unconscious like that. What you playin’ at? Everything’s connected? I mean even in a game of Connect Four, there’s gotta be a winner and a loser and then the game stops. How you go about explainin’ it, the rules are different in your dreams?’ Tryin’ to laugh him off… And keep in mind, this being Swiss German, they’re all pronouncin’ it Connect Fear… Little do they know they’re playin’ right into the great man’s theories. But Jung remains cool as ice, sticks to his guns, he knows what he’s talkin’ about. He’s all in touch with the future, like he knows Van Halen and Def Leppard are gonna come along. Heck, he’s even channelin’ them for some his theories… You know singin’ all ‘Anima!’ Confusin’ the title of that Def Lep single with the tune of VH’s Panama you know… But can you blame him? Things get all mixed up in the collective unconscious… going ‘Anima! Animuh-huh-huh-huh-huh,us’… And it starts to give him his Anima/Animus theory and in the process providing Siouxsie and Budgie the title for their third Creatures record… Of course not the first time Jung was involved in naming albums. He was apparently doin’ that left and right, givin’ old Stingy and the Police boys Synchronicity… Of course I mean the irony of it being that no one’s policing the collective unconsciousness. You can just steal people’s phrases and release multi-platinum albums there without anyone batting an eye… Or any royalties coming back across the aeons… Or I guess just decades, ya know… Then ol’ Thom Yorke of Radiohead – I mean wasn’t Jung the OG Radiohead pickin’ up all the signals like this… Well I guess not, I mean shamen have been doin’ it for ages… But just this year Thom Yorke released an album too called Anima… Which surprisingly was not just a covers album of precisely one half of that Creatures record… And he made a short film to go along with it directed by Paul Thomas Anderson… Who you’ll all know made the only film of a Tommy P novel, ol’ Inherent Vice!… Which you’ll recall had lots of police stuff in it – I mean woah ya know…all Bigfoot Bjornsen and all that… I mean does the actual Bigfoot, ya know Sasquatch, have an anima himself, provided this creature – woah – is male… Or you know an animus if Bigfoot’s a female… And woah though Bigfoot Bjornsen, well I mean who’s one of the most famous Bjorn’s of all-time?… Only him outta ABBA… And talk about the perfect balance between male and female, they were 2 and 2, ya know. The Noah’s Ark of pop music. And Jung wasn’t even Swedish to know all this

But Jung’s not too concerned with credit, or with all these naysayers. He knows what’s coming up in 1987, anticipatin’ it like a mofo, when he will be justified with the release of Appetite For Destruction and it’s lead off track, Welcome To The Jung-le. I mean of course Axl couldn’t pronounce it like that, ya know give the game away. I mean it’s not that easy, like the next song on the record would imply. Oh you wanna go through it track by track? Talk about takin’ the Nightrain from Zurich to Vienna to go hang out with Freudy Freud. Out To Get Me, Mr. Brownstone… well I guess I’m just namin’ tunes right now but ya know, you wait til you get to side two with Think About You, Sweet Child O’Mine, and You’re Crazy. I mean start thinkin’ about those songs and Freud’s theories and you won’t have to look very far. You just need a little Patience, as they would later sing. There’s the rumor that Freud once threw him outta his study for punning on that GNR song whilst talking about their, their medical patients ya know, but I’m not buyin’ it. But you can hear him, clear as day, saying to Freud ‘my way, your way, anything goes’

But gettin’ back to Welcome To The Jungle, I think Jung himself was prolly expectin’ it to be a more straightforward cover of the Frankie Goes To Hollywood single ‘Welcome To The Pleasuredome’. You know with the band being from Liverpool and all and Jung having had that crazy dream about Liverpool that he recounts in his autobiography. But Axl had different ideas. I mean imagine if Jung and Axl had a band and it was just called Gustav & Roses, ya know. Keep the G, keep the G U part of the Guns. Like keeping the rest of the history the same, and by this I’m not implying that Jung and Tracii Guns are the same person. I’m just condensing things for simplicities’ sake. But if the band LA Gustav combined with Hollywood Rose… like if Jung spent some time in LA, like as, as a street performer. Maybe a mime, yeah probably a mime, sometimes being a mime is the only way to blow off some psychoanalytical steam, especially on the other side of the world like that… But Jung’s just hangin’ out in Hollywood one summer, Echo Park, Silverlake… Ridin’ a unicycle between these neighborhoods just to confuse people you know, ‘let ‘em think I’m a clown,’ he says. Not out loud of course cause he is, at heart, a mime. But because he’s not actually sayin’ anything ever, no one knows a thing about him. They just start callin’ him LA Gustav and then soon enough he’s in a band with Axl Rose, sellin’ millions of albums, gettin’ songs on the Terminator 2 soundtrack. I tell you the collective unconscious is a wild place…

But now that I think about it, of course LA Guns are involved! I mean way back before all this there was that English glam band Girl – ya know, the whole anima concept – and who was the lead singer? Well, only Phil Lewis of course! Later to front LA Guns. But back in Girl Phil Collen was playin’ guitar – just like Bowie said Ziggy did! So when Jung’s all channelin’ Def Leppard’s Animal but to the melody of Van Halen’s Panama of course but actually singing Anima, well you know Girl’s all mixed up in there too…

But all this is a just a precursor for what he senses is coming, as all the shamen have throughout the ages. Which is 1988 rolls around, and what movie is released to great fanfare? Young Guns, of course! Junnnnng Guuunnns. And this is right after Appetite for Destruction comin’ out in 87 – Jung Guns & Roses ya know – I mean Jung was clearly on that spirit trip with Lou Diamond Phillips, Diamond In The Rough, the Rough & Tumble…all those tumbleweeds blowin’ in the desert, you know… La Bamba comin’ out the year before, same year as Appetite though years after that Disney cartoon La Bambi. But Ritchie Valens ya know and this movie with Billy The Kid, well Kid Rock’s last name is Ritchie! It’s amazin’ what you learn in the spirit world. And this is only like Spirit World 101, ya know like that Depeche Mode live album that came out just the year after, in 89. Eighty-nine, am I right?

But ya know some say it’s all just a great cycle of that earlier Depeche Mode album Construction Time Again and then Appetite For Destruction. And then a smaller number of those somes say that one day there will be a great synthesis and it will be Appetite For Construction Time Again. Which most will credit Depeche Mode for predicting with their pre-album single Get The Balance Right

Now Jung he didn’t discriminate. He could listen to both Depeche Mode and Guns N Roses without worryin’ anyone’s gonna call him a poseur. Ya know catchin’ their soundwaves off the great collective unconscious wireless way back in the 30s or let’s just say 50s ya know to make it seem even. Like 50/50 showin’ he doesn’t really favor either band despite possibly havin’ been in Gustav & Roses with Axl, and I mean Axl was a big Depeche Mode fan too. Apparently called them up when they were comin to the States and sang them Somebody over the phone. So I think it’s gotta be 50/50. Though sadly there are no real records to indicate what he thought of 5150 and the split with Roth. I mean if he’s acceptin’ synthpop like this but also a fan of guitars as shown with GNR and of course him gettin’ the Anima concept from Panama…well I think he’d be cool with 5150. Might even claim it’s the best of both worlds, though careful to not mention in the 50s the psychic schism he could foresee with Roth leaving the mighty VH in 1985. Which you’ll be sure to notice is the exact midpoint between Construction Time Again coming out in 1983 and the 1987 release of Appetite”

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